Time
I think it’s time for me to speak up. Tell my story. Share my thoughts. Mid-life is HARD! I will admit, I’ve always struggled with my mind — anxiety and ADHD. But I have never struggled with my weight. In midlife, I struggle with both. Some days, I don’t care at all, and other days both really bother me. Sometimes I speak my feelings and forget that my frustrations with my own body can harm other people. And then I’m mad at myself for opening my mouth! I think that being a personal trainer puts this extra annoying pressure to be skinny and muscular, which I am neither. I don’t actually think any of my clients care about that, but that is the story I’ve told myself for years. I’d like to say that I’m the fittest I’ve ever been, but I am nowhere close to that. I’m achy and sore constantly. I’m tired sometimes and full of energy other times. I eat well, but my clothes are tight. I sprint, jump, lift, run, stretch, foam roll, rest… but still nothing feels great. And, I have a giant fibroid, probably bigger than a baseball now, growing in my uterus. I constantly feel pressure and heaviness in places I shouldn’t. I’m contemplating a hysterectomy, but… wow, that’s a big deal! I will find relief with that procedure, but will it cost me something else?
What I am trying to say is, I am just like you. I spend my days loving my family and trying to make my dreams come true. And at the same time, trying to build a strong body, and trying to forget the ridiculous notion of needing to have a perfect body. It’s so strange, isn’t it? The stories we tell ourselves? The harm we cause ourselves?
I think of September as a fresh start, a new beginning. A new year. And, as Fall approaches and trees shed their autumn leaves, I’d like to shed all of my negative thoughts about my changing body in this perimenopause/menopause stage of life. I’d like to shed what I think I should be, and be happy with what I am, who I am.
So, that’s my goal. As we enter the Fall season, a fresh start, what do you want to shed? What do you want to manifest? What do you want to nurture this winter? What do you want to launch into Spring? What do you want to get rid of, so you can grow?
<3Keely
